1. Flashback Friday. While cleaning out the dvd case I found a folder full of old photos, most of Lily Grace but some like this, of pre-teen me. I’m pretty sure this was the holiday I turned 13 on.

    Flashback Friday.

    While cleaning out the dvd case I found a folder full of old photos, most of Lily Grace but some like this, of pre-teen me. I’m pretty sure this was the holiday I turned 13 on.

  2. So, yesterday there was an issue.

    A money issue. A big one. Hence the panic attack practically in public. The bank wouldn’t let me withdraw the money I needed.

    My MR sat down and went through what we could spare from all three of my bank accounts, it’s okay, I’m not as broke as I thought, we’re skint, there’s no doubt about that and the first mortgage payment comes out in 7 days, but we’re not completely out of money.. yet.

    To top it all off, my mum’s 50 this year, this month, in 22 days actually.
    I have spent the whole year so far figuring out what to buy her and I hadn’t decided.
    My mum’s a shoe lover, back when I was working during college and uni, I used to treat her to Irregular Choice shoes, she still gets comments on the few pairs she owns now, years later, so I figured a special pair, plus I’d sen a tutorial on adding gem stones to the bottom of shoes, I was planning on a 5 on one shoe and a 0 on the other. Then she tells me the other months that she’s starting to feel out of place in her towering, overtly decorated stiletto shoes at work and has taken to a smaller heel/ wedge. I’ve previously done the awesome patterned wedge that’s completely ‘my mum’. So there goes that.
    Then I thought, handbag. Nope, not enough, don’t really know why, its just not.
    She has a lot of jewellery, costume, the only stuff she wears that isn’t is the rings my dad bought her and a watch he bought her when they were first starting out together. She loves jewellery, I raid Accessorise for her regularly, so that’s not enough for her 50th. Then I realise, she wears a locket lately, she’s been wearing one I left when I moved out, it’s crap, it’s from a time when Argos was acceptable for jewelry, it would probably bend if you pressed too hard. So I thought, locket, definitely, she keeps mentioning it, since I’ve had Rory, she really wanted to put pictures in one.
    Do you know how expensive lockets can be if you don’t want it in yellow gold or shaped like a heart?! I had previously given myself a budget of around £100 which I just can’t afford now, not at all. 

    So I’ve called my dad and he asks if I’ve found any jewellery places in the craft fair at winchester- maybe they do handmade lockets that’ll be what I want. Did I mention my dad was a genius, I mean he’s not exactly right but I’m sat there listening to him and sat staring at my computer and all I can think is ETSY. duh. There are some gorgeous lockets on etsy, seriously. I’ve just bought her a perfect one, I was actually torn between two so I called my dad back.

    I’ve genuinely been freaking out over my mums gift and my lack of funds because fuck I’ve bought a house and fuck it needs gutting and fuck I have to pay all these workmen.

    We still have a money issue but I’ve managed to spend less than £30 on a perfect thing for her. It’s just gorgeous. I’m really pleased with it. Genius Father!

    Now I just have to find an electrician and pay him too. Oh and a plasterer.

  3. Sometimes we can have a day like this, where we’re going through a tougher time than usual and taking it out on eachother and then, tonight, he comes home, notices the tv and goes
    “oh History Boys, brilliant. C’mon, let’s have a beer and I’ll see if there’s cake.”
    And I just want to lay there on the couch with him, with a beer and cake.
    Regardless of the day.

  4. I freaked out and full on had a panic attack in public before so my MR bought me a treat. Say hello to my treat of ‘a hand stretched pizza base made with extra virgin olive oil topped with ripened tomato sauce, mozzarella cheese, chargrilled red pepper, butter basted chicken and iberico bellota chorizo sprinkled with smoked paprika.

    I freaked out and full on had a panic attack in public before so my MR bought me a treat.
    Say hello to my treat of ‘a hand stretched pizza base made with extra virgin olive oil topped with ripened tomato sauce, mozzarella cheese, chargrilled red pepper, butter basted chicken and iberico bellota chorizo sprinkled with smoked paprika.

  5. This is genuinely the most stressed I’ve ever been, forget exams, forget uni, moving house, fixing a house that is currently completely uninhabitable, with an electrician that can’t keep to a schedule, a builder that’s just plain fucking lazy and a plumber that’s failed to tell me how busy he is in June.
    Add all this to a baby that apparently doesn’t like heat, may have a touch of hayfever and is currently teething, plus ready to be weaned (which I’m not doing til we’re in the house) and waking hourly in the night.
    Also throw in the headache I’ve had for 3 days now.
    Ugh, why is this my life?!

  6. I just had a great time. I went to the breastfeeding cafe after clinic. I’ve never been before but have always been asked, so today I went, mainly to avoid going home. Our relationship’s been a bit strained lately, due to being stressed out over house stuff, being mildly concussed, lack of sleep and the heat. It was great I had a really nice time with some other mums, plus Rory charmed everyone by handing out smiles the whole time. So to put off going home even more I’m now treating myself to lunch. Ham and cheese panini, an iced latte, a bakewell muffin, complete with sleeping baby and the sun coming through on this comfy window seat. Lush

    I just had a great time.
    I went to the breastfeeding cafe after clinic. I’ve never been before but have always been asked, so today I went, mainly to avoid going home. Our relationship’s been a bit strained lately, due to being stressed out over house stuff, being mildly concussed, lack of sleep and the heat.
    It was great I had a really nice time with some other mums, plus Rory charmed everyone by handing out smiles the whole time.
    So to put off going home even more I’m now treating myself to lunch.
    Ham and cheese panini, an iced latte, a bakewell muffin, complete with sleeping baby and the sun coming through on this comfy window seat.
    Lush

  7. Well, I got 3 hours sleep again last night. This little guy must be teething or something. Does that come with a runny nose? I can’t remember.
    He’s fine, all day, then it gets dark and he’s screaming and kicking his legs out in pain, I just can’t feel any teeth.

  8. Actual cuteness.

    Actual cuteness.

  9. Rory hadn’t filled his nappy in over 25hours by the time we went to bed last night.
    He was awake hourly, crying, really crying. We put him on our bed for our only shot at getting some sleep. I’m not a co sleeper, I don’t hate it, I’m not against it, I just don’t sleep well enough with a baby on the bed. We had a short spell of it with Lily Grace, though she required being on my chest while I was at some form of an angle, my shoulders and neck used to really kill.
    Rory was more than happy to flail around on my side of the bed at an awkward angle.
    When my MR got up this morning he let me sleep because Rory was still dozing too. He didn’t think to put the leg I’d had dangling on the floor back onto the bed, so I rolled a little bit more and fell out. I fell awkwardly on my hip and hit my head on the dresser drawers that he always fails to close properly. I’d laugh at the ridiculousness of it if I hadn’t gone so dizzy coming out of the bathroom 10 minutes later that I hit the deck again. I pretty much fell on the same side again so now my elbow’s fucked and I hit the same side of my head with full force twice in 10 minutes.
    Damn you breastfeeding, paracetamol is not covering this banging head pain.

  10. I need to:

    •look for wallpaper patterns I like and want.
    •find cheaper versions of the wallpaper patterns I’ll like and want.
    •look for carpets I will like that are on offer.
    •plan rooms
    •finalise room colours.
    •figure out what I’m buying my mum for her 50th birthday this year.
    •buy my mum her present.

    Yeah, that’s a pretty big list.
    I think I’ll just eat cheesecake and watch Game Of Thrones.
    Start that tomorrow yeah? Cool.

  11. Mmm chicken marinated in nandos with broccoli and new potatoes is good summer food.

    Mmm chicken marinated in nandos with broccoli and new potatoes is good summer food.

  12. We’re almost wallpaper free throughout the entire house…. I’m taking a break for some baby time though.

    We’re almost wallpaper free throughout the entire house….
    I’m taking a break for some baby time though.

  13. I’ve been awake since 3am, its now 9:20 and I’ve heard the sentence “well I’ll have the kids you try and sleep now” about a dozen times. Why?! What is it about this situation that makes people think if I could definitely sleep now, when I have stuff to do rather than the past 6 hours that I’ve just spent trying to sleep?
    The majority of my thoughts yesterday were along the lines of “please don’t let Lily Graces nose be broken”. Y’know when kids walk with you and they trip, but you’re holding their hands so you pull up a little to stop them planting their face on to pavement? Yeah well, my mother’s heard one too many a ‘horror story’ about pulling kids by their arms, by one too many I mean one….
    “Y’know thingy, the one that goes the bingo with grandma? Well her daughters nieces husband, you know her right, she was in so and so’s year at school? Blonde? No brunette…. Anyway her husband used to swing the kids by the arms, which was fine til he pulled his kids arms out of the sockets in the middle of the street”
    That’ll be why my daughter hit the floor nose first then. Her nose was really swollen and she actually cried out in pain when you touched it. She seems fine now, I thought she was gonna have black eyes but they seem to be normal this morning.
    Now to attempt to finish the house of the last room of wallpaper, then maybe build the rest of the kitchen. After taking 7 bin bags worth of clothes to the charity shops.

  14. He really loves to watch the cars.

    He really loves to watch the cars.

  15. Things that are really annoying…. When the wall you’re trying to scrape to is the same colour as the underlayer of wallpaper. Thank fuck its hot and I can use water on the walls.

    Things that are really annoying…. When the wall you’re trying to scrape to is the same colour as the underlayer of wallpaper.
    Thank fuck its hot and I can use water on the walls.

About me

Im in my twenties, I've made a couple of babies so far, girl 3 years back and a boy in January. I've been in love only once. I've said yes to a proposal once. I've been tattooed 4 times and I want much more. I've lived in 4 different places, all within England, and become a different version of myself in each. I love England. I've been diagnosed with depression once, I still struggle with it some days. I love my bed, I drop things, I spill things, I trip over nothing. I live in organised chaos, I have a floordrobe as a result. I love to dance, I sing when I cook, I bake a lot. I love baths so hot you can't breathe at first. I love to watch films and read books, multiple times. I swear a lot. I eat a lot of fruit, and chocolate, and food in general actually. I've got stretch marks from both my pregnancies. I love being pregnant, if nothing goes wrong. I've been through enough in my life to know I'm a fighter and you can watch me raise my wonderful children to be the same...

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